is sunday but im still feeling so miserable and upset...he sae i changed...but hu has really changed?...if i did change...my feelings towards him has nv been changed...i nv regret all the tings i haf given up and done for him...wat disappointed me was his attitude towards tis whole issue...i guess he must be blaming me nw for all it has happened...i do not wish to blame anyone..i accept it...i accept all the fault...ytd..i took almost 3-4 hrs bus rides...i keep tinking bt us..tears keep coming dw...wat exactly have i done wrongly to deserve his treatment nw?...i will be meeting him for dinner for the last time and after tt...i decided to let go...i wonder if i can do it...letting go is always so hard....nobody is to be blame...i took it the hard way...past is already past...but y do i still continue to live in the past...everyone is rite..im too native...tinking tt as long as we love each other...we can overcome everytings...but is our character and selfish acts tt have caused so many unhappiness...we have break and patch back so many times..shouldnt we cherish tis r/s even more after wat we have gone thru...

rmb the 1st time i met him...it was simple..i tot it was fate tt brought out together...of so many sporeans..he choose to wrongly msg me...all the 1st times we done together...tinking back..it does bring tears to my eyes...but how many times can a r/s restart??...even if we restart..there will be scars...everytime im learning to heal and accept him again...tings happened...mb im not the one for him...everyting tt i done for him...means nth to him???...tt how he sae me..watever he do..i wont feel anyting...

tis chapter must close no matter wat...i wish i wont be soft hearted when i see him later...i wish i could walk away from him without showing any expression or feelings on my face...i wonder if i could do it??...
i must be strong..ppl will tend to sae..aiya...quarrel again..will patch back de la..yes..we patch back..but each time we patch back...the feeling fade alittle..the hurt adds in a little...is lk a merry go roll..everyone ask me to break...but i really cant let go...

my hopes, dreams and future of us are dashed...im left with nth...im all alone..i will learn to be strong and walk my own ways...u left me with nth...is time to let go...

it has been 6 days since we quarrel and we haf not patch back at all..guess it is becoming more n more worse...guess sometimes, human being must look forward and not keep tinking bt the past...i really must learn to let go of the old tings and past in order ot move forward...we cant nv make it thru 27th...learning to let go is part of life...if i can take up this r/s...i oso must learn to learn to let go...but i guess..it is gng to take a long time before i can really let go of this whole tings...everyting has changed..this r/s has changed..the ppl in this r/s has changed too..is not lk the past anymore...jealousy...selfishness has eaten up this r/s...my forgetfulness and his jealousy and selfish act has cause this r/s to end lk tis...dreams..hope and future has been dashed...


everyting is gone...every single dreams and hopes has dashed....


is the end of the whole chapter...the story has ended...no need to ask me y...is time for me to start a new chapter of my life...i wish him all the best..believing he can find another beta girl...as for me...my dreams and hopes are dashed...i just wish to be alone for a while..and learn to begin the new chapter of my life without him....

THE END....


why do tings have to turn out this way?????

i have no mood to blog and i need support from ppl....

updates updates updates~~~~~

my colleague went on leave for one week leaving us to die...wtf...sian...anyway...on Tuesday nite fall sick..had really high fever and bad sore throat..but cant really be bothered...in the end wednesday took half day and went to see the doc...fever did not go dw at all..so sian..den thursday manager MC...haiz...fri went to watch 30 Days of Night...my God...damn bloody and scary...1st time im scare and insisted on gng out of the cinema before the movie ended..but this dear...refuse to go out..insisted on watching finish the whole movie..he himself was scay oso..he was cursing thru out the whole movie..haha...but really very scary tt it make me shaking and crying..somemore it was a midnite show...went hm bt 2+ in the morning...couldnt slp until 5am...keep the moment i close my eyes...the image keep flashing in my mind and i keep having nitemare..freak...they shld put this movie R21...the moviesi wan to watch are R21 - the heartbrken kid and good luck chuck..sometimes i really wish i can be 21 not becoz i wan to watch RA show..hehe...fine fine..tt was part of hte reason...despite being 21...im still mama, papa and mummy baby girl...papa's little princess who has nv grown up..he keep treating me lk a kid..but i love it...i love my mummy, mama n papa...sat...went to meet ban to bring clothes...bought a 3/4 pant... which i lk alot..hehe...sat was being maid for my parents...went ard packing food for them while they are playing mahjong...is ok..coz i get to see my cookie and cayden...i miss them so much...hehe...sun went for xian's cousin's wedding..topic back to us again...his sister asked us when is ou turn and i sae...wait till u get marry 1st..hehe...well..heard she will be getting marry next year..hehe..dear was lk wah..really ar...silly boy...


later gng to mama hse to eat KFC...oh my..i lost some weight and im back to eating again...hehe...lalalalala